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every rose has its thorn part1

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every rose has its thorn part1 Empty every rose has its thorn part1

Post  Leviathan_collective Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:24 am

I AM ROSE LUNE DAMN IT

do they hate us because we're different ?

all there was here was absoulte darkness i couldn't see anything yet my ears picked up drips of water. and icould smell blood there was nothing pleasant about this place they locked us up in. and they took my lily away from me i swear the human race will pay dearly. i mean take my lily away and i'm nothing just like right now. well today i rose lune shall break free of these shackles i must be re-united with her or i may truly give into insanity. i heard steps just outside this cold damp cell my feet are so cold i barely feel them there.

i heard the large metal door creak open then a nasty bright light filled this small room to which i was alone. it blinded me for a momment but after my eyes adjusted to the light i saw an old man. he appeared to be in his 40's tall and slender with long grey hair and an eye patch i guess he's seen a lot of fightin in his earlier days. " morning nuber 34 i do hope you're not trying to escape today yes for you see today's little experiments shall be a bit let's say harsh " said the old man. starting to chuckle " i hate you.. i hate you.. i hate you.. i hat.. " rose managed to spit out before being stabbed in the gut. " oh look how remarkable leviathan regeneration is look your healing up already 34... " hesaid before screaming in agony.

" awww little human can't take having its insides frozen well makes no differance i'll be free and so shall my sweet lily i've had enough of being your play thing " said rose. as she spat on his face and froze the chains binding her and snapped them. rose then tried to step forward instead failing and falling flat on her face " damn it all.. " said rose softly as she picked herself off the ground. now all i got to do is find lily and get the fuck out of here thought rose. as rose walked out of the rooom she noticed something was up why no gards ? thought rose this was indeed odd. i thought i was under heavy lockdown i guess i was wrong thought rose as she turned left. and started walking down the hallway bing pulled by a bond that shall never be broken.[/i]
Leviathan_collective
Leviathan_collective

Posts : 9
Join date : 2012-04-04
Age : 33
Location : planet Lu'mere

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every rose has its thorn part1 Empty Re: every rose has its thorn part1

Post  Neutral Contrast Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:30 pm

Cleaned up the title for ya, don't really know what you want italicized though lol.

Other than that, maniacal, hopefully canonical, though the gore and insanity factor feels a little understressed. She's gone stark flippin' mad! When it comes to detailing brutality, I always think that more is better, though.

"The elderly gentlemen's scream faded to a whimper as his lungs were bitten by frost. As his innards were overcome by the chill, they seeped their warm, crimson liquid, only to have it fall victim in their stead. She spat in his face as he fell over; a stiff, lifeless log bereft of his former sentience, "Awh, the poor human can't take having his insides frozen?" Her words were filled with a sadism unlike what she'd ever known. Rose pulled his blade from her gut, swiping it across her tongue, savoring the distinctive taste of iron, "Rest assured, there was nothing you could do. I'll be free from this place, and so will my Lily! Number 34 be damned, I've had enough of being your plaything."

I love over-dramaticizing, consider it a completely pointless force of habit lol
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